This is me. I wear glasses to hide my bags: top beauty tip!

This is me. I wear glasses to hide my bags: top beauty tip! And yes, I am always very shiny in photos.

Welcome to my author website! Have a good furkle around but make sure you wash your hands afterwards. Hand hygiene is very important.

Hopefully to the right, you will see my blog roll and some links to interesting places. There are tabs above my loofah-haired head, which say a bit about what I’m writing. I write funny stuff for children and really horrible crime for adults with rude bits in it.

Please do comment if you fancy, as long as you’re not offering to sell me fake Uggs or lady-relations with Russian girls. Victor is my PR lackey. He smells of onions and has a large beard. Oddly, he also pretends to be me, but don’t worry…he won’t bite and there are no bran flakes or egg chunks stuck in his moustache.


  • Fab website, Marnie. Lots of funky stuff going on… I will wait to introduce you to Moniqua – the Russian ugg boot wearing hamster – in a future comment.

  • Sarah says:

    Looking good, Marn! Looking forward to buying copies of your books for all the kids I know!

  • says:

    Thanks, Sarah. 2013 is going to be an exciting year, I think.

  • says:

    Oh, dear. I’m not sure I’m ready for a combination of furry boots and Eastern European pets. But thanks for visiting and for your comment!

  • malaika says:

    Woo hoo! Congratulations on getting your writer site up and running. It looks fabulous!

  • says:

    Thanks! It’s absolutely wonderful to post comments that aren’t spam. Hurray! And ta for the compliment. One day, it will be flooded with nosy readers!

  • I can now appreciate the full wit of Horrormonal woman in all its Rabelaisian glory. I love “Stannah stair, not Fred Astaire!” I will ensure my 12 year-old gets his mits on your fab-sounding books. Well Done Marnie, you’re an inspiration to us all!

  • says:

    Blimey. I really don’t know what Rabelaisian means but I’m off to google it straight away. I think my breakthrough middle grade novel, Archie Shufflebottom will be right up your 12 year-old’s street. Watch this space for news…

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